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Tahni Morell and Family Story

The Morell family sits outside together for a photo in this order: young boy in a gray shirt and cargo shorts, mom in a navy dress, little boy sitting on Dad's lap in a navy blue shirt and light colored shorts, Dad in navy blue shirt with light colored shorts, a young girl in a bright pink dress. They all smile at the camera.
Morell family photo, 16 months before Paul passed, 2008.

 

Assisted Suicide:

Doctors Make Mistakes

Tahni Morell and Family Story

 

“My late husband, Paul, fought an 8 year battle against colorectal cancer. Six of those years were after being given a Stage 4 diagnosis. Paul lived far longer than any prognosis ever given to him by his skilled doctors at Dana Farber in Massachusetts where we live.

In fact, we even had an unexpected third child when his doctors said even that was not possible. Doctors’ prognosis are often inaccurate and patients can live much longer and fuller than ever expected.  When he passed, leaving behind our 3 children, aged 10, 7 and 3, every unpredicted day of Paul’s life mattered.

In addition to cutting short his unpredicted longer life by an unnatural death, the further tragedy would have been all we would have lost that often only occurs during the very end stage of dying. In that time, even while on oxygen, weak and coughing throughout, Paul painstakingly made individual video tapes for our children expressing his love and hopes for them.

Paul and I cried together, prayed together, shared intimate conversations of love and forgiveness.  Those conversations were so healing —and they never would have occurred like that in prior weeks when he was feeling stronger.  And as I saw Paul weaken, it helped me to loosen my desperate grip on my beloved husband and to be able to let him go as well. Soon thereafter, with hospice support and with our 10 year old daughter, Julia– who later said that if her dad had taken a cocktail to die that it would have felt like a betrayal to her– instead, she stroked his face and whispered, ‘Daddy, you can go home now; we will be okay. . .’ and Paul passed painlessly and peacefully.

Truly, I tell you, there is so much profound purposefulness in the very final stages of dying.  It was such a sacred process that I would have never wanted to cut short.  Personally, I know that the subsequent grief that my children and I endured was immeasurably more uncomplicated and had more closure due to sharing in the natural process of death together.”

 

Read more about the fight against assisted suicide legislation in Massachusetts: Boston Globe: Legalizing assisted suicide would send a devastating message

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